[Sunday 5th July] i fucking hate how some boys are completely different people around girl's. irregardless of whether they have a girlfriend or not.   In other news, America is fucking ace. CRIMSON&CLOVER

[Saturday 20th June] easy live journal. long time no speak. Life is fucking shit man. i can't remember the last time i actually posted something on here, so i don't know how much older i am now than the last time, but, it feel as though life is still as confusing as ever. Charlotte & split up & it has not been a very enjoyable expeirence. i managed to not sleep with one of her friends this time though, so that is a bit of a bonus. It shit though, she has done nothing but mess with my head ever since this happened. Like, she never gave me any reasons for why she wanted to split, other than she just wanted to. she made me wait a whole week before she got the courage to tell someone why - & was the some one me? no. why should it have been me? i just think that she owes it to tell me to my fucking face about how she is feeling. i have invested so much of my time & effort into her over the past 30 months. We've had some fucking horrendous time & some fucking amazing times. i personally dont think the relationship had gotten to a stage where the bad times were joutnumberig the good. The reasons she told aaron were that she didn't feel like she should have to put effort into romance at her age, like she is too young. I will pick this excuse apart now - we have been together for two & a half years, this relationship didnt suddenly get harder, & she is at her oldest now? i mean, its not like she was older 2 years ago. its fucking nonsence. Either way, i can accept that she doesn't wanna be with me. & i am honestly honestly fine with that. I just wish she would fuck off now though. leave me alone. i mean, why does she have to text MY friends saying that she misses me? why does she have to phone MY friends when she is drunk. she has friends of her own to talk to about this. she doesn't need to tell mine. Really, i know that the reason she does so it, is because she fully knows that hese messages are going to get relayed back to me & that it will fuck with my head. I dont think she means it in a vindictive way, but i dont think she realises the hurt & pain she causes. niot just for me - i know tjhat the friends i am talking about hate to see me go all crazy & fight with myself / walls. I could try & get her back, but i think ultimately it would end up in the same place as it is now - she has to like me of her own accord for us to work in the long run. i'm not a fucking idiot, i know that. having said that, it doesnt make shit any easier. i miss everything about her. every song has some reference in it which reminds me of her. every news article feastures something that triggers a whole though process - leading to her. I proper love her deeply. when we first got together, i didnt really find her that attractive, i found her interesting. i proper fell in love with the way she is, not the way she looks. i find it really difficult to get the whole thing off my mind. My living situation is far from ideal at the moment too. i really want to move out the fucking awful flat where i live now. the flat itself is proper nice, but the vibes are just shit. I plan on moving out in the next week or so. but i feel bad for not tellig Matt. i don't think it is humanily possible to care for nick any less than i already do, & to be honest, to completely fuck him over would give me an enormous sense of wellbeing. gah, you know what fuck it. just bring on america. blogging makes things feel better. PS. hi oddball. i know youre probably the only person who still uses live journal. CRIMSON&CLOVER

reading [Thursday 23rd October] over my old journal. i was a fucking prick. xo CRIMSON&CLOVER

New Journal. [Thursday 25th January] This Journal reminds me of not good times now. time for a change. be_my_serene add it, please. ill add a few people too. CLOVER

[Thursday 23rd November] [ mood | pissed off ] right now, i feel like i have no place to turn.

[Monday 20th November] [ music | saosin - some sense of security ] hey, just so everyone knows, i have another phone umber, with credit and everything. its 07748669696. ill be using this one for the next couple of days, then back onto: 07756171489. but yeah, save them both. okay? okay. CRIMSON&CLOVER

[Thursday 28th September] aww man. looking at all these pictures of Thailand just makes me want to go. im gunna start saving, intensivley and go for like, a month in the summer. i mean it man, i wanna go to phuket and koh san road. lay on a beach in koh samui and koh phangan. this will happen anyone want to come? CRIMSON&CLOVER

[Monday 12th June] [ music | falling a sleep at a funeral - streetlight youth ] download was awesome. metallica played an ace show again. i think two hours for theheadliners is a bit too long though. i get proper board of the same band really quick. tool were good too. for a bit, then i got bored again. but maynard had it going on. strapping young lad made me fucking laugh. the singer was proper like bill bailey, with a guutar. proper gnome rock. aaaanyway. im having a BBQ at mine this wedensday evening. which y'all invited to. anyone who has general studies on thursday afternoon is welcome to stay over, just lemme know first. also, let ryan and hannah get the message. bring yer own booze and food. usual rules. fergie ya big bitch. you better be coming! mehgan aswell! and maybe on thursday some sort of football party or something? that'd be sweet. i think we should picnic next week on western flats as well? cricket, footie and jam butties. i love the summer. CRIMSON&CLOVER

[Tuesday 6th June] hello there all. i need 10 clicks on this link! c'mon guys. help me out! http://www.gatenbys.com/?r=82420 its free stuff! you can apply too. its not as seedy as it sounds... CRIMSON&CLOVER

[Tuesday 28th March] [ mood | ill ] [ music | Jeremy Kyle - Fiance Stop Cancelling Our Wedding ] so, since hinesty seems like a valuable commedity in todays society, ive decided that im going to tell everyone who leaves me a comment, what i really think of them, the truth. no matter how harsh. so leave a comment, i guess. CRIMSON&CLOVER

whaking day oh whaking day! [Monday 3rd October] [ mood | confused ] [ music | Barry White - cant get enough of your love ] Do you ever just confussed? and you dont know whats makeing you confussed, all you know is that you are? like, everything seems to conradict itself. and you're kinda just there. trying to figure out what to do or where to go. maybe 1+2 doesnt equal 3 after all. CRIMSON&CLOVER

[Sunday 10th July] [ mood | hot ] [ music | a perfect circle - blue ] today, i sweated like a bitch. i also pined for the bright eyes album, so if anyone fancies lending me that....? kbi CRIMSON&CLOVER

[Sunday 10th July] Click to hear your favorite new band! CRIMSON&CLOVER

[Sunday 10th July] Check me out! CLOVER

[Tuesday 7th June] FRIENDS ONLY.</center> CRIMSON&CLOVER

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ]